2023 recap
drawing the curtains on the year
Before wrting this, I made a physical list of all the things I achieved this year. When it came to wrting about this blog, I wanted to know how many subscribers I started with. And when I went to my Substack creator's dashboard I realised that I started this year with 30+ subscribers. What shocked me the most wasn't the number of subscribers I have now, but the fact that I started this blog this year. It legit feels ike I have had it for a longer than that.
So to the 157 people who are subscribed to this newsletter thank you for being a part of this journey this year. Every single one of you is special in your own way. Thank you for staying despite my inconsistency.
2023 was a great year for me and when I say this, I do not mean that there were no bad days and down moments, but in those moments I was a able to forge ahead and push. I had a very solid support system that I will always be grateful for.
Unlike other people, I didn't have a lot of goals for this year. I had a few, but I didn't have anything major mapped out. I had very vague ideas of how I wanted the year to go. I knew I wanted it to be better that 2022 but I just didn’t have an idea how I would go about it.
In January I told the whole world (my WhatsApp contact list and the 200+ people who follow me on Instagram) that I was starting this newsletter. It was the scariest thing ever. I thought about how I probably wouldn't be able to stay consistent (which wasn't a lie),how my writing wasn't as good as what I read so people wouldn't be interested in reading my stories and things of the sort. I did it anyway. I also challenged myself to post on my Instagram three times a week and grow my account to 500 followers by the end of the month. Now that I look back the problem wasn't the goals, but rather the fact that there was no structure on which these goals were to be achieved.
One major goal for me this year was to improve on all my skills and get better. So I attended an introduction to writing class that was hosted by a group of phenomenal writers. That class really cemented in my mind my identity as a writer and it taught me to take pride in my craft. One of the moderators, Guwor Warebi, said something that has stuck with me since. He explained how important it is that a writer is attentive. He said and I paraphrase '‘there are stories all around you as a writer. The price to pay is attention.” Those words have carried me throughout the year. Everything I have written this year has been guided by this principle.
My first semester in 100l ended in February. I went home for the election break and I experienced the worst creative block ever. In February I struggled to write, to take pictures to do something creative but it was all to no avail. It felt like being thrust in a dark room with your hands tied behind your back. There was no reprieve and there was no escape from the feelings of inadequacy that I was feeling in that moment.
March marked entry into 200l second semester. I resumed the school year still feeling so lost and confused. I didn't understand what was happening and why I felt this way. I stopped posting on all my socials. I registered for the Face of BAMS contest. It was a a beauty pageant type thing that if you won made you the face of our department (as the name implies). I quit before it even started, because I didn't have any energy or anything to give to that contest. I was completely drained. This was the beginning of a burnout, but I did not have an idea what was going through. I just thought that I was being undisciplined.
Salvation and calvary came to me in April with the LEAD conference. That conference sparked a fire in me. A flame that I have been running with since then. I even participated in a pitch contest, where I emerged 3rd position despite preparing for it two days to the program. You can read more about that experience here. I knew I wasn't out of the woods just yet. It's one thing to catch fire and it's another thing to fan that flame to keep it burning.
So in May, I shot, edited, directed and featured in publicity videos for events in my school. One of my biggest highlights in May was being opportuned to speak and an anti-bullying seminar. It was hosted BAMS MHA (Bowen Association of Medical Students Mental Health Advocacy) and we spoke to the students of Bowen University secondary school. It made me really proud of myself, because I transitioned from being bullied, bullying my siblings and to being an anti-bullying advocate. Real full circle moment right there.
I also tried to overcome my camera shyness. So I would post long videos on my Instagram and my Snapchat story of me talking about anything and everything. It really worked because right now I don't get so scared or panic as much when a camera is pointed at my face. I also experienced my first rejection and when I think about it now it legit made a lot of sense. Me and this person had been talking for just a few days, but the chemistry was so freaking amazing. The physical attraction was magnetic (only on my end sha) and I am like "why not try my luck ?" So I shot my shot and my crush dodged it like stray bullet. I cried like a fool. Only me and the people on my finsta know what I saw that month.
In June, I was still sad from my failed shot but I couldn't even be bothered about it because I was trying to survive second semester exams and make it out of this university alive.
Summer began in July and this was legit a dark period for me. I came home to find out that my grandmother was sick. It was to the point that she couldn't even walk. She had to be assisted around. We were making frequent trips to the hospital for her medical check ups. I had to constantly monitor her blood pressure and blood sugar levels. I had to learn how to cook meals to suit her condition and help her recover better. I was a really sad period for me because I watched someone who was always so energetic and lively be reduced to a semi-vegetable state.
August rolled in and my grandma was getting better by the day. She was able to walk on her own and I would walk with her regularly just to keep her active. In this period I really appreciate the ephemrality of this thing called life. One day you could be a fireball and suddenly the years roll by and you're a flickering match. I learned so many life skills in this month. I learnt how to deal with difficult people and how to manage my emotions. I also started a TikTok account. Today that account has 200+ followers and 6.4k total likes.
September came with the threat of a new semester. I got to spend the bulk of it with my cousins and my family. It was a bit rocky, but it was nothing we couldn't weather and move past. I also got to hangout with some of my girls. It was Tammy's birthday and this was our first time seeing each other in over three years since graduation. It was such an amazing time for me to be honest. We had a sip and paint and we spent that time catching up and just having the best time.
1st semester 200l began in Ocotber and I was officially a pre-med student. Nothing eventful happened in October except the fact that I nearly lost my mind because of the stress of new workload. It was so foreign to me. Having classes from 8am to almost 6pm. In my second week I was already in the verge of breaking down. I remember calling Fola, one of my friends, almost in tears because I was so overstimulated and anxious that day. Everything just seemed to be going wrong that day, but after that call, I was able make it through that day. I also started an Instagram account that is an extension if this blog. My goal was to create a safe space where I could share tips to uplift people and spread love into the lives of others. Social media may be a dark place, but if there are people to share the right content it may just become a better place. I challenged myself to create content everyday for 30days (including 3 newsletters that I dropped that month). I gassed out on the 21st day but I was actually proud of myself that I lasted that long. It really showed me that I was capable of whatever I set my mind to. I also learnt so much about creating graphics with Canva. I also learnt what times and conditions were best for me to work and how to channel myself into my writings. Expect so much more from this account next year.
My birthday month rolled in. November was such a chill babe as a month. She just came with good vibes and plenty money. My birthday was such a chill day. It was a quiet and calm day. I was too bothered with school to even cry or be sad. Vwede (my main girl) spent most of that day with me. I was really happy that day. I was happy that I made it to 19. The Saturday of that week, I had a small hangout with a couple of friends and we had so much fun and it was much needed reprieve from the shege of school. I also participated in an intercollegiate debate competition as the first speaker. Our topic was "Abortions rights: Legal and Ethical considerations to note in its regulation" I was super proud of myself, because even though I ran out of time towards the end, I was able to communicate my points so clearly enough that with the input of the second speaker and the rebuttal speaker, we were able to come second place.
To be frank this year was one of the best years I have had post-COVID and I am really happy with where I am in life. I am eternally grateful for all the opportunities I had this year. I met amazing people and learnt how to build healthy and stable relationships with them.
One thing I really learnt this year was how to love and what love is and is not. I learnt that love will never be in expressed only in a romantic context. Love can be expressed platonically. You can spread love with your gifts and talents. The good deeds you do for other people is a sign of how much you love and care about them.
2023 was my year of learning. I learnt from all the bad experiences that came my way. I sat with my emotions and felt them rather than run away from them. I came to terms with certain hard truths and made my peace with them.
Thank you to every single person subscribed to this blog. I appreciate you all so much. 2024 is going to be such a great year and I promise to deliver more amazing content to you across all my social media platforms. Thank you for doing this year with me and I can't wait to do 2024 with you.
See you next year and Happy New Year in advance!!!!!
What a journey! May the new year bring all the blessings you need
So proud of you my love 🥹 2024 will be way better for you in Jesus name